Chronicles of a Corporate Intern
Thursday, May 29, 2008
"The Sarge"
I work at the same company as my father. How else would I have gotten my job if it weren't for Daddy the Mid-Level Project Manager/Software Architect?
His protege lives in the cube next to me. A guy named Chad who smokes cigarettes from an orange container and drives a little light blue VW Bug. They go out to lunch once a week and talk geek talk, the only language my dad knows.
Even though we work at the same company, my dad's cube is in the second building, so it's not like he's always around. This I'm thankful for, since I worked in my mom's office last year and she drove me crazy.
Finding himself in my building for meetings he dropped by my office this morning. Overrun with case summaries and stress I was a little less congenial than usual, but we still had a nice chat. As he walked away Chad said loudly, "Then there's Bruce. He always makes us work too hard and too much and gives us these crazy deadlines we could never meet." Or something to that effect.
My Dad laughed and kept walking, while Chad and his buddies resumed a much quieter conversation regarding my father's actual status in their little word. "The Sarge" they called him, a play off our last name that I have heard many times.
Maybe I'm a little more like my Daddy than I thought.
Not that we're bossy, per se, we just like to see things done when we want them to be. I'd like to think I taught him everything he knows about that.
His protege lives in the cube next to me. A guy named Chad who smokes cigarettes from an orange container and drives a little light blue VW Bug. They go out to lunch once a week and talk geek talk, the only language my dad knows.
Even though we work at the same company, my dad's cube is in the second building, so it's not like he's always around. This I'm thankful for, since I worked in my mom's office last year and she drove me crazy.
Finding himself in my building for meetings he dropped by my office this morning. Overrun with case summaries and stress I was a little less congenial than usual, but we still had a nice chat. As he walked away Chad said loudly, "Then there's Bruce. He always makes us work too hard and too much and gives us these crazy deadlines we could never meet." Or something to that effect.
My Dad laughed and kept walking, while Chad and his buddies resumed a much quieter conversation regarding my father's actual status in their little word. "The Sarge" they called him, a play off our last name that I have heard many times.
Maybe I'm a little more like my Daddy than I thought.
Not that we're bossy, per se, we just like to see things done when we want them to be. I'd like to think I taught him everything he knows about that.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The Birthday
Not to say that Monday wasn't interesting.
I give Monday interesting.
After an already fairly eventful day I got a call from my friend Gary, complaining that no one would go out with him, it was his 21st birthday, and he wanted to take me out to dinner. Who am I to turn down free food given the entertainment of Gary's presence and this particular boy's taste in food?
Having finished my Starbucks chat with Erin (a relationship that is far too complicated for me to go into right now) I headed back up to Seattle to pick up Gary and make our 9:00 reservations. We ended up at Cutters, a nicer place, especially when living on the income of a college kid. We got a table by the window with a beautiful view of Elliot Bay, and Gary ended up ordering a bottle of wine; Mont Redon Châteauneuf-du-Pape; a french Shiraz; an $80 bottle. He drank the whole thing over dinner.
Having conquered our volcano cake (on the house for his birthday), we decided the next step was to go bowling. Walking back to the Jeep I began to realize Gary had drank the entire bottle of wine, and while not particularly prevelant, it wasn't completely ignorable either.
We ended up at the Garage on Broadway. Ah, but alas, there's no 21 and over allowed in after 10:00. My status as a minor strikes again. But wait, it wasn't time to head home yet, because let us not forget: Gary drank the entire bottle of wine. And it was ready to come out.
Now, regardless of whether or not your from Seattle, imagine how gorram hard it's going to be to find a bathroom on Broadway at 11 at night. Yeah, that hard. A Shell Station, a Blockbuster, a homeless guy, a random run-in with a friend, and a QFC later a very nice security guard pointed us to Subway, where we ordered two Vitamin waters and the bathroom key. And then I got the entertainment of watching Gary try to use the key. Yeah, that was funny.
Then I finally convinced him it was time to go home. I had work the next day and he was drunk and I wanted to get back to talk to Dan before he had to go to bed (Damn OSU and their 7:30 classes! What foolery!). I drove down Broadway and told him he needed to give me directions, 'cause I didn't know where I was going. He told me to turn right, and then left, past the corner of 20th and Aloha, "we're near Isaac's... Okay...", and somehow he got me to the U District. NOT near Ballard at all.
As we drove up past the Arboreteum I turned to him, asking "How the hell did we end up here? I have like 3 friends that live up here, I know exactly where I am, how is this on the way to your house?"
"I'm taking you on kind of a roundabout way."
"How do we get there from here?"
"I dunno, maybe go straight?"
Yeah... I was impressed. I hopped on 520 and took him back my way.
Some days I wonder what any of us is thinking when we do the things we do.
I give Monday interesting.
After an already fairly eventful day I got a call from my friend Gary, complaining that no one would go out with him, it was his 21st birthday, and he wanted to take me out to dinner. Who am I to turn down free food given the entertainment of Gary's presence and this particular boy's taste in food?
Having finished my Starbucks chat with Erin (a relationship that is far too complicated for me to go into right now) I headed back up to Seattle to pick up Gary and make our 9:00 reservations. We ended up at Cutters, a nicer place, especially when living on the income of a college kid. We got a table by the window with a beautiful view of Elliot Bay, and Gary ended up ordering a bottle of wine; Mont Redon Châteauneuf-du-Pape; a french Shiraz; an $80 bottle. He drank the whole thing over dinner.
Having conquered our volcano cake (on the house for his birthday), we decided the next step was to go bowling. Walking back to the Jeep I began to realize Gary had drank the entire bottle of wine, and while not particularly prevelant, it wasn't completely ignorable either.
We ended up at the Garage on Broadway. Ah, but alas, there's no 21 and over allowed in after 10:00. My status as a minor strikes again. But wait, it wasn't time to head home yet, because let us not forget: Gary drank the entire bottle of wine. And it was ready to come out.
Now, regardless of whether or not your from Seattle, imagine how gorram hard it's going to be to find a bathroom on Broadway at 11 at night. Yeah, that hard. A Shell Station, a Blockbuster, a homeless guy, a random run-in with a friend, and a QFC later a very nice security guard pointed us to Subway, where we ordered two Vitamin waters and the bathroom key. And then I got the entertainment of watching Gary try to use the key. Yeah, that was funny.
Then I finally convinced him it was time to go home. I had work the next day and he was drunk and I wanted to get back to talk to Dan before he had to go to bed (Damn OSU and their 7:30 classes! What foolery!). I drove down Broadway and told him he needed to give me directions, 'cause I didn't know where I was going. He told me to turn right, and then left, past the corner of 20th and Aloha, "we're near Isaac's... Okay...", and somehow he got me to the U District. NOT near Ballard at all.
As we drove up past the Arboreteum I turned to him, asking "How the hell did we end up here? I have like 3 friends that live up here, I know exactly where I am, how is this on the way to your house?"
"I'm taking you on kind of a roundabout way."
"How do we get there from here?"
"I dunno, maybe go straight?"
Yeah... I was impressed. I hopped on 520 and took him back my way.
Some days I wonder what any of us is thinking when we do the things we do.
The Stereotypes
Ahh, the box. How long I have avoided it, and how quickly I have been stuffed into it.
Yes, that is me, the formerly flunking highschool student who was determined to drop out and become a writer. I am now an intern in the marketing department of a high-powered E-Discovery firm, and heaven forbid, I am enjoying it.
Perhaps, though, I am still a little too intelligent for this work, for I still seem to have a little too much time to think idle thoughts and let my pen ramble at empty notebooks. I've decied to make use of these idle thoughts, and perhaps provide my anecdotes and ideas to the world for their entertainment or disdain.
To start allow me to draw up a few papers I wrote up last year (working Accounts Receivable at an Electric Company... Reorganizing the department, increasing their collections by over 60%, and still spending much of my time idle...). This particular set has made it through 3 purses, 2 jacket pockets, the glove box of my car, and into the pit that is my desk and is now finally going to be presented to the world in it's rightful form: For my entertainment, and maybe yours too.
I spent a lot of time last summer commuting. Stuck in traffic on 405 between Bellevue and Renton. You meet some interesting characters in such settings; of course, as a pretty little teenage girl in a convertable many of these interesting characters have something to say to you, and this is what I had to say about those particular characters.
Profile 1: The Guy Who Parks Next to You
He's pretty ugly, but damn, that truck is cool. Just a little white Toyota, but the decals and skull stickers manage to make it pretty hot. He's good for friendly banter after work, but perhaps not much else.
Profile 2: The Hot Trucker
This one is rare. He's the smokin' twenty something behind the wheel of the semi. And when that engine revs you know you're going to pay attention - especially once you see that smile. It's even better when he's smiling at you. You'll be glad to sit there in rush hour traffic as long as the view's this good.
Profile 3: Mini-Van Kid
He's cute, but careful, 'cause he probably ain't legal. He's blasting crappy rap music out of the stock speakers in mommy's soccer-mom-style mini-van. He has the guts to roll down his mother's immaculately clean passenger's side window and shout "What's your sign baby?" from his newly-acquired drivers seat. He's probably the heart-breaker at the local highschool, but the best response is probably "Octagonal and red", 'cause you can bet he's still got a lot of learning left to do.
Profile 4: The Mercedes Business Man
He's hot, so's his car, he's rich, he's sleek - and he's lookin' at you. He knows that charming smile is going to make you melt, he knows it 'cause he's married and banging his blonde-bimbo secretary too.
Profile 5: The Monte Carlo Mexicans
Their car is a shimmering green Monte Carlo left over from the '60s - hydraulics, top of the line sound system, spinner rims, and a custom interior - some hot stuff. However, don't make eye contact as the engine revs unless your prepared for some rather crude suggestions.
Profile 6: The Redneck Buddies
You're more likely to find this driving up a dirt road then on a downtown freeway, but it turns out I've done my share of that too. And it might just come from those days, in a dirt covered Jeep Wrangler and a "Cowgirl Up" bumper stickers.
These guys are the sexy stupids in the sooped up ol' Ford 4x4 with their doors taken off and mud splashed all along the sides. Camo seat covers and a shot-gun rack complete the admittedly appealing package. They're the ones that pull up next to you shouting "Hell yeah!" "Cowgirl up!" and "Rock on!", and every once in a while offering a beer to go with their exclamations.
Yes, that is me, the formerly flunking highschool student who was determined to drop out and become a writer. I am now an intern in the marketing department of a high-powered E-Discovery firm, and heaven forbid, I am enjoying it.
Perhaps, though, I am still a little too intelligent for this work, for I still seem to have a little too much time to think idle thoughts and let my pen ramble at empty notebooks. I've decied to make use of these idle thoughts, and perhaps provide my anecdotes and ideas to the world for their entertainment or disdain.
To start allow me to draw up a few papers I wrote up last year (working Accounts Receivable at an Electric Company... Reorganizing the department, increasing their collections by over 60%, and still spending much of my time idle...). This particular set has made it through 3 purses, 2 jacket pockets, the glove box of my car, and into the pit that is my desk and is now finally going to be presented to the world in it's rightful form: For my entertainment, and maybe yours too.
I spent a lot of time last summer commuting. Stuck in traffic on 405 between Bellevue and Renton. You meet some interesting characters in such settings; of course, as a pretty little teenage girl in a convertable many of these interesting characters have something to say to you, and this is what I had to say about those particular characters.
Profile 1: The Guy Who Parks Next to You
He's pretty ugly, but damn, that truck is cool. Just a little white Toyota, but the decals and skull stickers manage to make it pretty hot. He's good for friendly banter after work, but perhaps not much else.
Profile 2: The Hot Trucker
This one is rare. He's the smokin' twenty something behind the wheel of the semi. And when that engine revs you know you're going to pay attention - especially once you see that smile. It's even better when he's smiling at you. You'll be glad to sit there in rush hour traffic as long as the view's this good.
Profile 3: Mini-Van Kid
He's cute, but careful, 'cause he probably ain't legal. He's blasting crappy rap music out of the stock speakers in mommy's soccer-mom-style mini-van. He has the guts to roll down his mother's immaculately clean passenger's side window and shout "What's your sign baby?" from his newly-acquired drivers seat. He's probably the heart-breaker at the local highschool, but the best response is probably "Octagonal and red", 'cause you can bet he's still got a lot of learning left to do.
Profile 4: The Mercedes Business Man
He's hot, so's his car, he's rich, he's sleek - and he's lookin' at you. He knows that charming smile is going to make you melt, he knows it 'cause he's married and banging his blonde-bimbo secretary too.
Profile 5: The Monte Carlo Mexicans
Their car is a shimmering green Monte Carlo left over from the '60s - hydraulics, top of the line sound system, spinner rims, and a custom interior - some hot stuff. However, don't make eye contact as the engine revs unless your prepared for some rather crude suggestions.
Profile 6: The Redneck Buddies
You're more likely to find this driving up a dirt road then on a downtown freeway, but it turns out I've done my share of that too. And it might just come from those days, in a dirt covered Jeep Wrangler and a "Cowgirl Up" bumper stickers.
These guys are the sexy stupids in the sooped up ol' Ford 4x4 with their doors taken off and mud splashed all along the sides. Camo seat covers and a shot-gun rack complete the admittedly appealing package. They're the ones that pull up next to you shouting "Hell yeah!" "Cowgirl up!" and "Rock on!", and every once in a while offering a beer to go with their exclamations.
Labels: Boys, Cars, I'm Female
