Chronicles of a Corporate Intern

It seems that when we need them the most the people who care about us show their true colors.

The past 24 hours have been a real eye-opener for me. Some people who I thought I'd lost have come back into my life going strong and supporting me amazingly well. And some people who were never really in my life to begin with have made themselves a part of it to see me through. And some, some have been here for me all along and have stuck by my side.

It amazes me how much faith people have in me. Recently all my friends and acquaintances, those who have been following my plight and have been supporting me through it, have been commenting on how strong I am. All of them.

I can't fathom how they can believe in me so strongly. Am I really that stubborn and prideful that all these people are convinced nothing can bring me down?

I'm not sure what it is about me that they see. I know, deep down inside, that they're right. That I'm going to make it through this and anything else life throws my way. I know I'm strong-willed and have an uncanny ability to see the good things when I need to, even if I never seem to at any other time.

Throughout the years I've developed a mentality; some call it morbid. I call it the way things are. I always tell people "either it all works out, or we die."

And it's true - death is the ultimate end. If I get thrown out on the street, robbed, and then raped my life will go on. It will not come to a stop because of a trauma, even one so large and unimaginable as that.

Until death, life goes on.

I have been in a time in a place where I haven't wanted it to. I have poured a variety of chemicals into a glass and sat staring at it until my cat came over and showed me that yes, someone does care. But even though I was so ready for it to be over, I so no longer wanted to be a screw-up, I hated myself and my life and everything around me; life went on.

Had it ended it would have been my choice - and a foolish one. There is no reason to ever give up on life. It seems to me that out of all the things we are given, life is the most valuable gift of all.

I mean, you wouldn't throw out a Bentley because the road had a pothole, would you?

Well, guess what. I drive a Jeep Wrangler bitches. Bring it on.

It's not in my nature nor my belief system to give up. I have been through enough in my short twenty years to realize that faithlessness is foolishness and that above all else we must believe in ourselves and our ability to sustain.

And I do believe in myself. I believe that I can make it through everything that's been handed to me, and I can do it head held high and come out the other side a better person. That's what I intend to do - use my obstacles to become stronger, smarter, and wiser.

If I go through enough, and experience enough pain and adversity, maybe someday I can be as wise and admirable as my grandaddy. Until then I will take the pain and adversity life gives me and strive slowly to that goal. Because what good is strife is we can't learn from it?