Chronicles of a Corporate Intern

Life is tough.

In fact, I'm pretty sure it's been said that "Life is pain... And anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something."

It's so true. Every day arises a new adversity, and all we can do is continue to battle through them - sword drawn and head held high.

My life has never been simple; then again, no ones' ever has. We all face difficulties, and we all deal with them in our own ways.

Things started going downhill when I was 12 and my parents got a divorce; and went that way until my senior year of highschool.

18 wasn't a bad year for me, at all.

Then this year hit, and I realize it was all just an act on the part of life to give me the illusion of contentment.

I have expounded about my sickness well enough in this for anyone who wants to know to know, Marilyn's father died, and now... Now my grandaddy is dying.

My grandaddy was like a god to me. He was strong and wise and intelligent and had been through so much, overcome so much. He made me feel special when no one else could. He made me feel like I was someone worth being.

And now I'm losing him.

Not that quickly, not in the next few months losing him - but I am, it's happening, he's going.

I had hope, so much hope, through his triple bypass and through his colon cancer and through whatever other diseases I didn't recognize he's fought these past few months. But now I'm being told there is none.

And that kills me; there should always be hope.

This is so much about me, and so much not. I don't even know which post to write.

It's so much about him: About how the strong and stubborn old man I've always known and loved is now giving up.

It's so much about me, though: About how the one person who never made me feel less than I am is leaving me to fend for myself.

I am beginning to feel like life is just a series of unfortunate events strung together. He and I have both experienced it recently, and I'm beginning to think it will never stop.

It scares me, so much, the similarities of what we are facing. The consistent line of sicknesses; and now, out of all things, he's dying of what started as colon cancer. It scares me.

I have decided to face the high levels of pain that life has confronted me with the only way I know how: By believing that I would not be as blessed as I am if it weren't for the obstacles I must overcome along side.

And with that recognition, I must turn my attention to my grandaddy: Because that's who this is about. I will be fine. My attitude is not a life and death situation. His could be. And if I give up, he will. But if I stay strong, I can't help but hope he will too.

We have both overcome so much, and even if we have overcome it in different places, under different circumstances, there's no reason to stop now.