Chronicles of a Corporate Intern

Ahh, the box. How long I have avoided it, and how quickly I have been stuffed into it.

Yes, that is me, the formerly flunking highschool student who was determined to drop out and become a writer. I am now an intern in the marketing department of a high-powered E-Discovery firm, and heaven forbid, I am enjoying it.

Perhaps, though, I am still a little too intelligent for this work, for I still seem to have a little too much time to think idle thoughts and let my pen ramble at empty notebooks. I've decied to make use of these idle thoughts, and perhaps provide my anecdotes and ideas to the world for their entertainment or disdain.

To start allow me to draw up a few papers I wrote up last year (working Accounts Receivable at an Electric Company... Reorganizing the department, increasing their collections by over 60%, and still spending much of my time idle...). This particular set has made it through 3 purses, 2 jacket pockets, the glove box of my car, and into the pit that is my desk and is now finally going to be presented to the world in it's rightful form: For my entertainment, and maybe yours too.

I spent a lot of time last summer commuting. Stuck in traffic on 405 between Bellevue and Renton. You meet some interesting characters in such settings; of course, as a pretty little teenage girl in a convertable many of these interesting characters have something to say to you, and this is what I had to say about those particular characters.

Profile 1: The Guy Who Parks Next to You
He's pretty ugly, but damn, that truck is cool. Just a little white Toyota, but the decals and skull stickers manage to make it pretty hot. He's good for friendly banter after work, but perhaps not much else.

Profile 2: The Hot Trucker
This one is rare. He's the smokin' twenty something behind the wheel of the semi. And when that engine revs you know you're going to pay attention - especially once you see that smile. It's even better when he's smiling at you. You'll be glad to sit there in rush hour traffic as long as the view's this good.

Profile 3: Mini-Van Kid
He's cute, but careful, 'cause he probably ain't legal. He's blasting crappy rap music out of the stock speakers in mommy's soccer-mom-style mini-van. He has the guts to roll down his mother's immaculately clean passenger's side window and shout "What's your sign baby?" from his newly-acquired drivers seat. He's probably the heart-breaker at the local highschool, but the best response is probably "Octagonal and red", 'cause you can bet he's still got a lot of learning left to do.

Profile 4: The Mercedes Business Man
He's hot, so's his car, he's rich, he's sleek - and he's lookin' at you. He knows that charming smile is going to make you melt, he knows it 'cause he's married and banging his blonde-bimbo secretary too.

Profile 5: The Monte Carlo Mexicans
Their car is a shimmering green Monte Carlo left over from the '60s - hydraulics, top of the line sound system, spinner rims, and a custom interior - some hot stuff. However, don't make eye contact as the engine revs unless your prepared for some rather crude suggestions.

Profile 6: The Redneck Buddies
You're more likely to find this driving up a dirt road then on a downtown freeway, but it turns out I've done my share of that too. And it might just come from those days, in a dirt covered Jeep Wrangler and a "Cowgirl Up" bumper stickers.

These guys are the sexy stupids in the sooped up ol' Ford 4x4 with their doors taken off and mud splashed all along the sides. Camo seat covers and a shot-gun rack complete the admittedly appealing package. They're the ones that pull up next to you shouting "Hell yeah!" "Cowgirl up!" and "Rock on!", and every once in a while offering a beer to go with their exclamations.

Labels: Boys, Cars, I'm Female